On this journey of mine, globally and spiritually, I’ve discovered millions of things about millions of things, as expected. I knew I would fall in love with myself and the world and Spain and culture and places and faces, but one thing I did not expect to fall in love with was women.
No, this is not my coming out story. Or maybe it is but in a different way. This is my discovery of my love for women who are strong and brave and powerful and smart and kind and poetic and loving and generous and real and independent.
The unicorns and the warriors. The fairies and the bulls. The mermaids and the goddesses. The go-getters and the doers.
I fell in love with women who know about food and wine and art and culture. The women who speak different languages and have a passport full of stamps with twice the amount of stories. The ones who have dinner alone in a crowded restaurant and go to museums and parks and read books that are important and valuable. The women who help and empower other women. They know who they are and they know their worth. They are confident and sexy and brave and funny. They ask questions and listen to the answers and are genuine when they give compliments. They aren’t afraid to be around other strong women because they are the same. Same same, but different.
There are so many of these types of women out there.
As I said once before, I’ve never been the girl to have a huge group of girlfriends. I wasn’t in a sorority and never had that girl power connection. My disconnection from most women always made me sad and I wondered what it was about me that just didn’t gel with chicks. I realized that I was just trying to befriend the wrong ones all along.
Starting Good Morning Flamingo and finding a community of other amazing bloggers and travelers and courageous women in general has opened my eyes to how many kick ass ladies there are out there; ladies who are running the world, or their corner of it anyways. The women who have reached out to me through this blog and told me their stories and how much my little life has inspired them has made my heart grow and has humbled me. The connection we feel to each other is something I never anticipated when I started writing publicly. They are kind and supportive and encouraging and sympathetic. They tell me how much they are like me and I discover how much of me is in them.
We truly are all one. If anyone knows what your worst or best day feels like, it’s another woman.
Encountering so many awesome ladies through my travels and through my blog makes me realize more than anything that this cold war between women has got to come to an end. We made blind enemies with no reasoning other than fear.
We need each other.
I have been blown away by the stories I’ve heard and the battles and struggles and obstacles these women have overcome, along with the successes and dreams and power they’ve achieved. And over and over again I keep coming back to the idea that, without a doubt, the hatred must dissolve and love must lead the way.
Together we will thrive and make changes and do monumental things. But first, we have to get over our fear of strong women. “We rise by lifting others” and if we all pick each other up then who knows how high we can go.
Jealousy is the most negative feeling we can have towards another human being. It is like a disease that festers within. It does so much harm to our bodies and souls. It creates a rift and separates people who could otherwise probably be best friends.
With women, there is always competition. Frankly, it is exhausting. We compete with fashion, with our bodies, our hair, our makeup and our men. We talk shit behind each other’s backs and pretend to be genuine face-to-face. We are always sizing each other up and assuming that the hottest girl in the room is going to try to seduce your man, so the horns come out and the defenses go up. She might try, but you should never make assumptions. And if she does succeed in seducing your man, he was never yours to begin with.
The “secret” to having awesome, gorgeous, hilarious, brave, strong, caring lady friends is getting over yourself and your ego. Take your horns off and put your defenses down. Call off the army and wave the white flag of surrender.
Surround yourself with people who contain qualities you want to cultivate in yourself. Don’t try to be just like them, because nobody likes a copycat. Instead, try to find the magic they have, but in yourself. You’ve got it; you just have to realize it.
I guarantee you the girl that intimidates you the most does not see herself as the shiny untouchable object everyone else does. She is just a normal person with her own fears and insecurities. She probably hates her nose or her arms or the way her butt looks in a bikini. But you’ll never know that she also loves the same music as you and that you’re reading the same book or that you both went to Peru and fell in love. You’ll never know any of that if you stand on the other side of the room and judge her and project your insecurities onto her.
Once you open your heart to your fellow kind, you will be rewarded by a love you’ve never known. A love you’ll never find in a man. A love only women can share. Since I’ve embraced this love, these types of incredible women are flocking to me from all directions, from all ages, from all corners of the world.
We all know the infamous quote, “If you’re the smartest one in the room you’re in the wrong room.” I think a good one for women is, “If you’re giving evil-eyes to the strongest woman in the room, you’re in the wrong.”
Befriend that girl who goes for it, whatever it is. The girl who lives with passion and has a sparkle in her eye. The girl who is always laughing and is friends with everyone and is at peace and brings light to the room when she walks in. The one who is doing exactly what you wish you were doing. Learn from her.
Talk to that awesome chick.
We need more strong women in this skewed society and if we keep hating each other we are never going to go as far as we can.
Spread love, be love, invite love in.
Girl power engage.
Where my girls at?